On the Alleged Renewal of the Elven Body

A more sophisticated absurdity concerns the Elves. It is commonly claimed that Elves enjoy long lives and, beyond that, periodically replace the substance of their bodies altogether, shedding age in some hidden physiological renewal. According to the more extravagant accounts, an Elf of eight centuries is not, in any meaningful material sense, the same organism that was born eight centuries before. The theory is delightful, and it is also unsupported.

Its origin appears to lie in the genuinely unusual regenerative capacity of Elven tissue. Scarring is reduced, damaged connective structures recover with uncommon completeness, and several organs exhibit cellular replacement far beyond that seen in other races. None of this constitutes bodily renewal. An Elf who loses a finger does not grow another, and an Elf whose heart is destroyed dies. Given sufficient years, an Elf develops cataracts, calcification, neural degradation, and all the other indignities of advanced age, merely at a pace which allows him several additional centuries in which to become tedious.

The fascination with renewal seems chiefly to arise from Human observers who find it emotionally offensive that another race should simply age more slowly than they do. Immortality is somehow easier to forgive if one can imagine a secret trick involved.