2 October, Southern Elven Grove

My investigation into traditional Elven medicinal practice produced an unexpected methodological problem today: apparently I insulted a shrub. The plant in question is used in the preparation of a mild antiseptic paste, and I asked the healer assisting me how much bark could be removed before it suffered lasting harm. This was, I maintain, a reasonable botanical question.

The healer looked at me and said, “You could ask.” I assumed this was figurative. It was not. There followed a fifteen-minute procedure in which he touched the shrub, spoke quietly to it, waited, touched it again, and then removed a strip of bark approximately the width of two fingers.

I asked how he determined that permission had been granted. He said, “It did not object.” I asked how it would have objected, and he said, “You would know.” This answer was useless. I attempted a more rigorous line of questioning and was eventually told that the plant “disliked my manner.”

I should stress that I remain unconvinced that the shrub possessed an opinion. I should also record that when I later cut a sample from a different plant without assistance, I developed a rash extending from my fingers to the elbow. The healer said nothing. He did not need to.