9 November, Western Ogre Territory

Today I attempted to obtain cranial measurements from an Ogre warrior named Brakk, which sounds more dangerous than it was. Brakk had agreed voluntarily, understood the purpose of the study, and was patient throughout. The only real difficulty was that every time I positioned the calipers around his head, he asked whether his skull was “good.” I told him that this was not what I was measuring, whereupon he asked instead whether it was large. I said yes, and he seemed pleased.

I measured bizygomatic breadth, cranial length, mandibular width, and several other standard dimensions. At the end, Brakk asked whether his skull was larger than the previous Ogre’s. It was. He smiled, at which point I made the error of saying, “Slightly.” He demanded the exact difference, and then asked to see the written figure. I produced both, and he laughed for nearly a minute. Later I learned that the previous subject was his brother.

By evening, four additional Ogres had arrived requesting cranial measurements, none of whom had the slightest interest in anatomy. I had inadvertently established a competition. For scientific integrity, I refused to rank them; for personal safety, I measured all four.